Jesus, Mario Lopez, Just Be My Gay Best Friend Already

It’s a bold statement, me saying that Mario Lopez isn’t gay when you’re looking at a picture of him covered in paint, posing in booty shorts and expressing himself with his hands…

He’s just one of those guys, like Ryan Seacrest, or Eli Roth. You’re convinced they’re gay, but there’s a lot of evidence to the contrary.

The underwear line he’s working for in this picture is called “Muchachomalo” and he says it’s “masculine with an edge.” An edge of estrogen, maybe.

I just imagine Mario and I prancing around the nude beach we have here (Rooster Rock, you can guess its nickname), me fully clothed and him in his gold paint, looking for a potential top to his plastic-covered bottom.  Continue reading “Jesus, Mario Lopez, Just Be My Gay Best Friend Already”

The Jersey Shore House Has To Be Painted WEEKLY

The house that has seen it all – Italian sausage in the hot tub, the mysterious disappearance of Angelina and Snooki‘s poof (I almost posted missing flyers) and all the guido power of 50 Sopranos – is graffitied daily.

Fans and anti-fans alike visit the Seaside Heights house constantly trying to break in, stealing roof shingles and writing their names and messages like “We love you Snooki” in Sharpie, TMZ reports.

Security has been amped up but the house still has to be repainted on a weekly basis. Fortunately it’s on MTV to pay for damages when the house is occupied by the Jersey Shore cast.  Continue reading “The Jersey Shore House Has To Be Painted WEEKLY”