Farting, Peeing and Menopause, With Your Host: Whoopi Goldberg!

Whoopi Watch what happens liveWhoopi Goldberg makes aging look so fun. You basically get to sit around all day in a hammock smoking pot. Peeing yourself as soon as your foot touches the ground is also a part of it.

Goldberg admitted this week on Watch What Happens Live that her bladder isn’t quite what it used to be. When Andy Cohen asked her if she could do one jumping jack in ten seconds (referencing 1986’s Jumpin’ Jack Flash) she said: “No. You know why? Because every time I land I pee.” She also alluded to the fact that her intestines had somehow improved. “I don’t fart as much as I used to but I find that a sneeze is dangerous. A cough can be dangerous.”  Continue reading “Farting, Peeing and Menopause, With Your Host: Whoopi Goldberg!”

Emile Hirsch Makes Intense Ann Coulter Face As He Pees On A Cactus

Emile Hirsch Censored penisI’ve always been jealous of the male ability to pee on a whim, without squatting or using poison ivy as toilet paper, but I’m second guessing my envy after seeing this photo of Emile Hirsch peeing on an aloe vera plant outside the West Hollywood club Bootsy Bellows.

Hard to argue that the paparazzi invaded his privacy when they snapped a picture of the tip of his penis considering he’s outside in a very public area. I’m more concerned for that poor succulent life form he’s hovering over. You don’t have to look closely to see how abused and underfed it was even before he started emptying his bladder onto it.

I’m emptying Emile’s home water tank and replacing it with urine. My ivy urine, to be exact.

Ke$ha Drops A Watery Load In The Street

This week Ke$ha stooped to new lows, the low of her bum almost touching the pavement.

That’s all I could mean by “low” since her most famous song is called “TiK ToK,” she spells her name with a dollar sign, there are moneyshot pictures of her on the internet, and she’s the proud owner of a beard website.

This is a photo of her peeing in the street (via her official Twitter @keshasuxx) not dropping a deuce like I implied. So sorry to disappoint. She wrote, “Pee pee on the street. PoPo come and get me if u can find meeee. I blame traffik.” Thanks a lot, Dr. Seu$$. In a way this is a good thing. Pop stars and modesty, what kind of a combination would that be? Jessica Simpson circa 1999?

San Diego Kicker Pees As Camera Rolls

Yes while the team was preparing for a rush in the fourth quarter with under two minutes left, the camera panned to Chargers kicker Nick Novak, which caught him at a very unfortunate moment.
Peeing, in a cup? I guess, when you gotta go you gotta go. Even when it’s in front of millions of people.

Tied against the Broncos and the only image we can conjure is some dude pissing on the sidelines when actually it was that normality of it that scared us. He couldn’t very well rush off to the nearest bathroom with the possibility of being needed on the field looming. He did what he had to.

Everyone applaud his grossness. What a trooper. Too bad his urine flow didn’t make much difference, the Chargers lost in overtime to that shifty football-playing priest Tim Tebow in overtime. 16-13.

Continue reading “San Diego Kicker Pees As Camera Rolls”