Chris Brown Threatened To Bust a Cap in Frank Ocean

Chris Brown gun takersThere’s little question that Frank Ocean was “the victim” in the Chris Brown parking lot feud. He stayed behind to talk to the police, refused to press charges and even forgave Brown in a peace-themed Tumblr post.

New details from the official police report have everyone wondering how a 25-year-old could harness such restraint and maturity.

In the report, Ocean says Brown’s entourage kicked him while he was on the ground and hurled homophobic slurs at him as he was told “We can bust on you too!” (bust as in, shoot) by Chris during their three-minute fight.

Continue reading “Chris Brown Threatened To Bust a Cap in Frank Ocean”

Frank Ocean Wants Chris Brown Poked With Splintery Penitentiary Wood

92387985JK095_POWER_105_1_SYesterday I told you about the latest barnyard rooster fight where Chris Brown and Frank Ocean went into a trance of unnatural posture and puffed-out chests over a parking space or whose wattle hangs lower.

Well, today there are various reports relating to the tussle. My favorite is that Frank Ocean wants to press charges.

You know how Iron Man has that shrapnel magnet in his chest? Well, in my dreams, Chris is in a jail cell with a guy who holds the remote control to a giant buttplug in his ass, and every time he misbehaves, it deeply penetrates him AND shocks him with 2000 volts of electricity. Even better than heart-piercing shrapnel, yeah? Continue reading “Frank Ocean Wants Chris Brown Poked With Splintery Penitentiary Wood”