Kendall Jenner Either Has Very Bad Eyes or Very Bad Reading Abilities

Kendall Jenner can't read After stumbling over the “direction” in “One Direction” at the Billboard Music Awards, even Kendall Jenner can’t decide if she has bad eyes or is simply terrible at reading. During the flub, she said “Guys, I’m the worst reader,” but then after the show she wrote on Twitter that she left her contacts at home and could see about as well as one of Kim Kardashian’s tapeworms.

This is what happens when the only person you grow up with who can read is an Olympian transvestite with too much eyelid surgery and arthritis from throwing javelins to actually open a book.

She is however, a model, and therefore probably speaks just enough broken English, French and Italian to order half a grapefruit and a cup of coffee in each country.

Double Balenciaga with a side of McQueen and extra Vuitton please…  Continue reading “Kendall Jenner Either Has Very Bad Eyes or Very Bad Reading Abilities”

Novelist Jonathan Franzen Heckled at Reading in Portland, OR

Jonathan Franzen James SpaderOn Thursday I went to a reading by author of The Corrections, and Freedom, Oprah-feuder, luddite and Time Magazine’s last “Great American Novelist,” Jonathan Franzen.

He read from a new piece he’s working on, a piece that consists wholly of footnotes on Karl Kraus, the Austrian satirist who Franzen relates to and calls “The Great Hater.”

Franzen spent much of the night comparing Kraus’ hatred for newspapers to his own hatred of technology, specifically Facebook, Apple, Twitter and Amazon.

Right after delving into why he dislikes Amazon (‘Like, half my friends own independent bookstores’), a woman who I assume was over 35 yelled, “I BOUGHT YOUR BOOK ON AMAZON!”  Continue reading “Novelist Jonathan Franzen Heckled at Reading in Portland, OR”

Find Out How Fast You Read (I Failed)

Staples has come up  with a reading test that determines how many words you read a minute and compares you to the national average. Sounds stressful, doesn’t it?

At the beginning, I was warned not to skim and I thought I wasn’t but at the end I was presented with three comprehension questions and got all of them wrong.

To be fair, there were questions involving numbers, and integrating numbers into anything English related is a sick joke. I retook it several times, all to varying results though I think I read about 660 words a minute. See what education level you fall under…

Continue reading “Find Out How Fast You Read (I Failed)”