Rebecca Black Pours Corn Syrup in Our Eardrums With ‘Friday’ Follow-Up

Rebecca Black Saturday phoneYou and Rebecca Black might have more in common than you think. Like you, she’s still trying to get “Friday” out of her head. This according to lyrics from her new song, “Saturday.”

At 16, she’s three years older than you remember her, but, as you know, this age difference isn’t terribly noticeable in terms of maturity.

She’s still referencing her old song (“gotta have my bowl”), partying “all night” and wondering where the peanut butter and some guy’s pants have gone.

Unfortunately, it’s not quite as catchy as “Friday” and probably won’t spawn as many awesome parodies. 

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Egg Rolls, Auto-Tune and a Dancing Panda? It’s ‘Chinese Food,’ by Alison Gold!

The video for “Chinese Food,” in which a painfully white 14-year-old girl sings about how good fried noodles, rice, egg rolls and chow mein make her feel, went viral today.

This is for those non-tween Rebecca Black fans who were crossing their shamed fingers for a song more embarrassing than “Friday.” Yeah, you know you f*cking sang that into your hairbrush, old man.

And you’re in absolutely no luck at all, because “Chinese Food” shares a songwriter with “Friday” and the little girl is all like “make it spicy,” and I’m like “it’s too bad some towns don’t have abortion clinics.”  Continue reading “Egg Rolls, Auto-Tune and a Dancing Panda? It’s ‘Chinese Food,’ by Alison Gold!”

TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL! Here’s a 12-Year-Old Singing Into a Turkey Leg

I really didn’t want to talk about this because it was released two weeks ago and there’s nothing I can say about it that everyone else didn’t already but, since it’s November twentyfoodth, I give you a song that is not close to my heart at all, “It’s Thanksgiving” by Nicole Westbrook.

She’s the new Rebecca Black, her microphone is a turkey leg and her song goes like this, “December was Christmas. January was New Year. April was Easter. And the 4th of July, but now it’s Thanksgiving. Oh oh oh it’s Thanksgiving. We we we we are gonna have a good time.”

Today we honor the day Pilgrims unsuccessfully tried to poison the last remaining American Indians…

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Kohl’s Utilizes Rebecca Black For Holiday Sales

I always fear going to the orthodontist. Lately it’s because they seem to not know how to control their tiny power tools, either that or their hands are just too big, because they are constantly cutting my cheeks. By accident, mind you, this isn’t a Corbin Bernsen horror movie.

Today was different, I expected blood and gore and got Christmas music. On repeat. Oh and I heard a Kohl’s commercial, in between “White Christmas” and “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” for their new advertising campaign featuring Rebecca Black. Well a version of her viral hit “Friday.”

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VMA Photo Slideshow (Plus Winner List!)

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Here’s a bunch of pictures of celebrities at the MTV Video Music Awards last night. Most of them look crazy, but at least they were having fun eh?

And here are the winners:

Video of the Year: Katy Perry, “Firework”
Best Female Video: Lady Gaga, “Born This Way”
Best Male Video: Justin Bieber, “U Smile”
Best New Artist: Tyler, The Creator, “Yonkers”
Best Collaboration: Katy Perry featuring Kanye West, “E.T.”
Best Hip-Hop Video: Nicki Minaj, “Super Bass”
Best Rock Video: Foo Fighters, “Walk”
Best Pop Video: Britney Spears, “Till the World Ends”
Best Video With A Message: Lady Gaga, “Born This Way”

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Rebecca Black FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY On America’s Got Talent

Actually it was Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday, but you know, that song only applies to the one day sooo, I guess she can’t only perform it on Fridays, though I’m sure most people would hope she would, if at all.

I don’t want to bully the poor girl, since she recently left High School after being harassed by classmates. I love this song. I sing it every Friday because Friday is the day I eat pizza.

PIZZA FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY

Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal (and pizza)

Look man, don’t look at this song as a song, look at it as an SNL skit or a jingle for some sort of weekend sale on tampons. Makes it better huh? Friday Friday Friday, shark week approaching, gotta plug myself, gotta go downstairs, flush the OB. It’s Friday Friday Friday.

Rebecca Black And Katy Perry Sung Together On Friday Friday Friday

Guess what happened on FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY, August 5th? Rebecca Black appeared onstage with Katy Perry where they both sung Black’s Youtube sensation “Friday.” (Rebecca appears at about the :47 second mark of the video above)

I like when Rebecca Black pops out and the crazy audience member lets out a banshee screech, “OH MY GOD IT’S REBECCA BLACK!”

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