Gaga’s ARTPOP Gets Release Date & New Single!

Lady Gaga artpop mask Lady Gaga has popped out of a recording studio crevice to announce the release date of her third full-length album, ARTPOP. It is due on November 11, 2013, according to her Facebook. Seems like a long time but at least the Little Monsters will have a BRAND NEW single on August 19, 2013 to satiate their fanatical needs.

There’s also this Inez van Lamsweerde-shot photo of Gaga naked in a clear welding mask displaying her ARTPOP tat and unruly hair.

Lady G has been working with DJ White Shadow, RedOne and others since 2012 on a boatload of songs that will probably sound like Cher fell into a blender with My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake.

Scratch that and replace with Jem and the Holograms. Every time she describes the ARTPOP experience I think of Synergy introducing herself as a “holographic computer designed to be the ultimate audio-visual-entertainment synthesizer.”

Rihanna’s Chalice Is Happy On ‘Unapologetic’ Album Cover

Rihanna has released a new album every fall since 2005’s Music of the Sun with the exception of the one year break between Good Girl Gone Bad and Rated R. 

Her latest is titled Unapologetic and has a set release date of November 19, 2012.

In case you forget that it’s called Unapologetic and that she herself will never apologize for dating Chris Brown, she’s written it all over her body, along with other choice words and numbers like “7,” “happy,” “fearless,” “chalice,” “side effects,” “roc,” “faith,” “victory,” “#navy” “diamonds,” “love” and “fun.”

Phuck you Chris Brown and giant Egpytian boob tattoo/carefully placed words.  Continue reading “Rihanna’s Chalice Is Happy On ‘Unapologetic’ Album Cover”

Hopelessly Human Black Widow Returns May 2015

Scarlett Johansson recently said that she’s “too sexy” for many of the roles that she wants and deserves, specifically The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (she would literally have been the worst Lisbeth Salander ever).

Her comments are only a little less laughable than the fact that Black Widow killed about three aliens hellbent on destroying the world in the final scene of The Avengers, as opposed to the several hundred her cohorts pwned.

Somebody needs to tell her that Beyonce and many others have already complained of overhyped sexiness (lookup Brazilian band Cansei de Ser Sexy) and that the majority of ugly Americans don’t want to hear about it.  Continue reading “Hopelessly Human Black Widow Returns May 2015”

There Will Be Two Parts To ‘The Hunger Games: Mockingjay’

Lionsgate just announced that Philip Seymour Hoffman will play gamekeeper Plutarch Heavensbee and that The Hunger Games is pulling a Harry Potter/Breaking Dawn and splitting the movie version of Suzanne Collins’ action-packed 390 page book Mockingjay into two parts.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire comes out in November 22, 2013 then part one of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay in the same month but a year later.

The series concludes in 2015 (spoiler: there are no “games” in it). That gives us a good three years to find the next big thing.

A craze worthy of Harry’s long wooden wand, Katniss’ bow-holding shoulders, and Bella Swan’s brooding vampires. I refuse to believe that it’s going to be Fifty Shades Of Grey.

Lil’ Wayne’s Tha Carter IV, Drops August 29th at 12 AM

August 29, 2011, the day after the VMAs, at midnight, is the official release date for the much anticipated Lil’ Wayne album Tha Carter IV. Tha Carter IV, which was delayed by Weezy’s eight month stint in jail, will be available digitally after the MTV Video Music Awards, which he is also slated to perform at.

Lil’ Wayne, a notorious workaholic, has been extra busy lately, he released a mixtape on July 13th humorously titled Sorry 4 The Wait (In reference to Tha Carter 4/IVAND he’s officially announced a collaboration album with fellow Cash/Young Money signee Drake.

He said in a press statement on his surprise album release,

“I am extremely excited to be the first artist to utilize such an amazing idea. I hope that I can open the door for others.”

Continue reading “Lil’ Wayne’s Tha Carter IV, Drops August 29th at 12 AM”