Lindsay Lohan Assaulted In Hotel Room By Young Republican

Lindsay Lohan told law enforcement officials that she was attacked by a 25-year-old man she met at the Chelsea night club 1 Oak and brought back to her hotel room in Manhattan with a group of friends.

According to police sources the argument started at around 4:30 a.m. on Sunday, September 30 over candid pictures and videos he’d taken of her.

After taking his cell phone away he reportedly threw her on the bed and scratched her.

She ran out of the room and into the stairwell then back into the room where he choked her and threw her to the ground a second time.

Friends eventually pulled him off and he was arrested while still in the hotel.  Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan Assaulted In Hotel Room By Young Republican”

Clint, I Love You, But WTF Are You Talking About?

Clint Eastwood, who announced his support for Mitt Romney August 3, opened for the presidential candidate at the Republican National Convention on Thursday with a rant less easy to understand than stroked-out Gary Busey.

I THINK he was trying to say that Romney will help the economy, and even though Obama’s enthusiasm in 2004 made him cry (“I
haven’t cried that hard since I found out that there are 23 million unemployed people in this country”), he’s sick of the broken promises.

Being the biggest female Clint Eastwood fan in the entire world, I can only hope that he was stumbling over his words (and talking to inanimate objects BESIDES Paul Ryan) to appeal to his audience.  Continue reading “Clint, I Love You, But WTF Are You Talking About?”

Congressman Steve King Also Thinks It’s Impossible To Become Pregnant After Rape

I’m not aware of a woman’s magical ability to turn her ovaries off after having sex with an unwelcome partner, nor an ability to shut off my own brain after getting raped by the comments of clueless old Republicans.

“Well I just haven’t heard of that being a circumstance that’s been brought to me in any personal way, and I’d be open to discussion about that subject matter,” Iowa’s Steve King told KMEG-TV.

That’s his response to a question about 12-year-olds getting pregnant.

He’s a supporter of a bill that would end Federal funding of abortions to victims of rape, which sounds like a brilliant way to secure a fiery condo in that hell place he probably believes in.  Continue reading “Congressman Steve King Also Thinks It’s Impossible To Become Pregnant After Rape”

Here’s That Shirtless Paul Ryan Picture You Were Looking For…

I know you’ve been Googling “Paul Ryan shirtless” every single day since Mitt Romney named the relatively young Republican his running mate. I also know why, at least if you’re a democrat. Forbidden fruit.

You feel guilty that you find Paul Ryan kind of attractive because you know his debt-cutting spiel is unrealistic, possibly even bogus.

Also, representing the darker side of politics, he likely does not support anything you believe in – Planned Parenthood, abortion, health care, lower taxes, gay rights, etc.

Your heart is torn, and cannot help believing in the simplicity of charm and natural good looks, even if they belong to that horrible dog abuser’s choice for Vice President.  Continue reading “Here’s That Shirtless Paul Ryan Picture You Were Looking For…”

Hank Williams Jr. Calls Obama Hitler, Gets His Crappy Song Removed From ESPN

After comparing Obama to Adolf Hitler on Fox News country icon and notorious Republican Hank Williams Jr. said, of the president playing golf with house speaker John Boehner, “Come on, it’d be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu,” in a reference to the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu.

Obviously the two would clash, is the ridiculous point he was making on Monday morning – the man who ordered millions of Jewish citizens to death, hitting the links with the Jewish prime minister of Israel…

Continue reading “Hank Williams Jr. Calls Obama Hitler, Gets His Crappy Song Removed From ESPN”