North West Has Kim’s Eyes and Kanye’s Look of Disgust

first image of northwest kris Kanye West revealed the first straight-on photo of his daughter, North West. No offense whatsoever, but the kid is really living up that androgynous male name. Babies are genderless to me anyway. And by genderless I mean invisible. And by invisible I mean I want one but I’d ruin its life. You know what they say though, worrying about being a good parent already makes you better than 80% of thoughtless, child-bearing MTV and government check-loving mofos.

This particular child, with its empty eyes and holier-than-thou air balance of ma and pa, made its debut on Kris Jenner’s talk show.

I wonder if Kim and Kanye are on the “troublesome bitch” list at the hospital. You know for me to be on that list I just have to be late, but for them it’s probably a bunch of crazy demands like pillows made from nearly extinct ostriches spliced with Kourtney’s placenta.

Video: Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Multiplayer

Official multiplayer footage from Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 has finally surfaced!

Things to expect include NEW killstreak rewards, NEW perk titles, NEW weapon bonuses, NEW grenades and shields and the return of heartbeat sensors.

Continue reading “Video: Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 Multiplayer”

Lady Gaga’s “Yoü & I” Video Revealed

The “You & I” video was premiered today (on Madonna’s birthday!) as Mother Monster’s promised 1000th tweet. I’m not sure if my screen is broken or what but right now the video has 302 views??? WHAT?? It’s been out for several hours what is going on?

…Honestly it’s more like the “I & I” video has been revealed. Lady Gaga’s male alter-ego Jo Calderone makes an appearance in the video, smoking and looking hysterical. Also turquoise Gaga, long and short black-head Gaga, Blonde Gaga and horny flopping-mermaid Gaga, of indistinguishable color.

Continue reading “Lady Gaga’s “Yoü & I” Video Revealed”