Gwyneth Paltrow is Saying Silly Things About Her Divorce

Gwyneth Paltrow Chris Martin dinnerContrary to the headline, Gwyneth Paltrow really hasn’t said anything too “silly” about her divorce, but many do seem offended by her seemingly stuck-up refusal to actually call it a “divorce” in her original and follow-up statements.

In the first, she left a bad taste in the mouths [of people who probably already hated her] by using the term “conscious uncoupling” to describe her separation from longtime douchehub Chris Martin.

Recently, Paltrow published a recipe brutal guide to cutting off a chicken’s legs and head with a little “P.S.” message attached. “CM and I in deep gratitude for the support of so many,” she wrote.  Continue reading “Gwyneth Paltrow is Saying Silly Things About Her Divorce”

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are Officially Done

Uh oh. Gwyneth Paltrow finally realized how bad Chris Martin’s music is…

Paltrow wrote on her newsletter website that they’ve decided to separate after 11 years of marriage, therapy (I assume) and two biblical/fruit-themed babies.

“We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate,” Paltrow wrote.

“We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been” she continued. “We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time.”

Continue reading “Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin are Officially Done”

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom Remain Best Friends After Breakup

Miranda Kerr Orlando Bloom 2013 Promising news for those of you wondering if you can ever actually stay friends with your ex: super mature and beautiful former couple Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom were seen strolling around the chilly streets of New York laughing arm-in-arm with their two-year-old son in tow just days after the world wept over their split.

The Aussie model whose boobs famously lagged out of her shirt earlier this year and British star of nothing recent confirmed the amicable separation on Thursday.

“Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family,” a joint statement released to E! by Bloom’s rep read.  Continue reading “Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom Remain Best Friends After Breakup”

THIS IS NOT A DRILL: Bruce and Kris Jenner are Separated

Kris Jenner Bruce JennerAfter years and years of speculation, rumors, and separate coffins living situations, Kris and Bruce Jenner confirmed to E! that they are no longer romantically involved.

The wording, however, leaves many questions to be answered.

Like, are they getting a divorce any time soon? What’s the point, and were her ladybits more like a carnivorous plant gnawing on him slowly or did they clamp down suddenly, like the twisted rusty bear trap from Saw? 

Bruce and Kris Jenner have separated after 22 years of marriage.

“We are living separately and we are much happier this way,” the pair exclusively tell E! News.

“But we will always have much love and respect for each other. Even though we are separated, we will always remain best friends and, as always, our family will remain our number one priority.”

He lives in Malibu, she’s in Hidden Hills, the kids are all over the place, no one’s really at a loss except for Vampira’s future lover/client/plant waterer/dog poo scooper.  Continue reading “THIS IS NOT A DRILL: Bruce and Kris Jenner are Separated”

Sinead O’Connor Separated After 16 Days, Blames Weed And Busybodies

Sinead O’Connor’s fourth marriage, which lasted from December 8 to December 24, is officially over.

I’m starting to wonder if she’s the more respected and older version of Lindsay Lohan. Her exploits as of late overshadow her success in the early 90s.

Her reasons for the separation from Barry Herridge make about as much sense as her reasons for marrying the guy. She wrote this “explanation” on her blog, “From the moment myself and my husband got together not long ago, there was intense pressure placed upon him by certain people in his life, not to be involved with me. These were people who had never met me but had formed opinions of me based on what they read about ‘Sinead ‘O’Connor’ in the media.”

Continue reading “Sinead O’Connor Separated After 16 Days, Blames Weed And Busybodies”