How Will Gwen Stefani Match up Against Other ‘Voice’ Judges?

I’ve been watching a lot of Gwen Stefani interviews today to see what exact kind of personality we’re looking at, and so far I’ve learned that she stays in touch with Madonna, once wanted a pet monkey and continues to describe her husband as “hot” years after their wedding.

Like former female The Voice coaches Shakira and Christina Aguilera, Stefani is a super proud blond giver of birth who calls motherhood “the best thing that’s ever happened” in her life.

She’s adorably Californian, knows she’s fabulous, and will likely vibe well with fellow blond beauty/sourpuss Adam Levine and new token-black-guy-judge Pharrell (who is half to blame for the spelling lesson in “Hollaback Girl”). Go ahead and put on an EVEN bigger hat, you’ll still never be Cee Lo.  Continue reading “How Will Gwen Stefani Match up Against Other ‘Voice’ Judges?”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [2-1-14]


Shakira smokes a cigar with Rihanna in “Can’t Remember to Forget You.” (BuzzFeed)

America continues to beg Canada to take Justin Bieber back after second arrest. (Gawker)

Dylan Farrow begs Hollywood to stop praising Woody Allen in open letter. (NY Times)

A woman in Arizona tried to kill her husband with poop. Yeah, you heard me. (Jezebel)

More odd Man of Steel 2 casting: sequel will star Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. (Slate)

Besides the arrest, Justin Bieber ran out of milk, went to a strip club to find some. (Evil Beet)

And here’s a bunch of X Men: Days of Future Past character posters in Empire. (ohmyGAHH!)

Shakira Gazed Deep Into a Soccer Ball and Found God

shakira elle magazine cover 2013Shakira is more than just the only refreshing thing on The Voice season 4 (besides Michelle Chamuel) and the only bangable pregnant woman, she’s a recording artist with a buttload of international fans who are impatiently waiting on her next album.

“I have no idea of where I want to go musically, but I’m fine that way,” Shaki said in an interview with Elle. ” I don’t need to remain faithful to any concept, you know.”

So her new sound could be anything from Hurdy Gurdy Screamo to Argentinian Goat Folk, but I’d like to see her lean on the rock she’s only previously dabbled in. (“Poem to a Horse” part II please.)

Also in the Elle piece, Shakira mentions how beefy ball keeper Gerard Piqué restored her faith in everything…  Continue reading “Shakira Gazed Deep Into a Soccer Ball and Found God”

Christina Turns Her Chair For Season 5 of ‘The Voice’

Christina Aguilera armsChristina Aguilera is bringing her particular brand of sass and insanity back to the fifth season of The Voice this September.

She just signed a $12.5 million contract to return to the red “I Want You” chair that Shakira’s been keeping warm for her.

I happened to see the studio where The Voice is filmed when I traveled via wheelbarrow to California. It’s an unremarkable black square with no windows in The Valley (where it’s already hotter than the toilets at the U.S. Championship Cheese Contest).

That’s why Christina’s always fanning her escape artist tatas and why Robin Thicke looked like melted Dippin’ Dots on last week’s episode.

Speaking of tatas, I really wish Shakira and Christina could be on the show at the same time. Usher can dance off the edge of the earth that he probably believes is flat for all I care.  Continue reading “Christina Turns Her Chair For Season 5 of ‘The Voice’”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [1-16-13]

Shakira naked baby bumpBaby bump: Shakira edition! She-wolf poses in bikini with shirtless soccer husband. (Celebuzz)

Edward Furlong losing jobs left and right after latest domestic violence arrest. (TMZ)

In rare news, Howard Stern apologized! (to Jonah Hill’s doppelganger). (Us weekly)

Oprah basically “satisfied” with Lance Armstrong‘s doping confession. (CBS)

The guy who styles Nicki Minaj’wigs quit over “creative differences.” (Idolator)

Lady Gaga buying a share in Neverland Ranch, for restoration purposes? (Huffington Post)

Special edition of Dead Island: Riptide comes with the bloody plastic torso of a woman. (Jezebel)

Cassadee Pope Takes ‘The Voice’ Season 3 Crown

Cassadee Pope train dress 1Former Hey Monday frontwoman Cassadee Pope beat out Terry McDermott and Nicholas David after performing with Kelly Clarkson, The Killers and Avril Lavigne in last night’s finale of The Voice. 

Pope was a clear favorite with two high-charting iTunes covers, including one (“Over You”) that knocked “Gangnam Style” from the top. Her win in season three was the most watched finale in the show’s short history, with 14 million viewers.

Her competition, Radagast and Bilbo from The Hobbit, had decent pipes but no chance of achieving the commercial success that Pope can and hopefully will.  Continue reading “Cassadee Pope Takes ‘The Voice’ Season 3 Crown”

Shakira, Hurry Up and Have Your Baby! (Nobody Dances and Howls Like You Do)

Complimenting pregnant women is not easy for outsiders. Usually it’s friends and family showering the expectant mother with kind words about their glowing skin (and skin really is the only thing you can compliment because there’s so fucking much of it).

When Shakira posted this photo of her round belly, about to pop out an adorable little vagburster that better not taint her ability to yodel and make her hips tell the truth, I found myself reaching for something nice to say.

“Shakira looks great without makeup,” is what I came up with. Not bad, eh?  Continue reading “Shakira, Hurry Up and Have Your Baby! (Nobody Dances and Howls Like You Do)”

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [10-15-12]

Pregnant Shakira is dancing up a storm in Azerbaijan. (ohmyGAHH!)

Dane Cook‘s cancelled, unaired show on NBC was pins-in-eyeballs bad. (Gawker)

Cleveland Browns fan dunked his head in piss for $450 dollars. (Deadspin)

Lindsay Lohan will sit down with Baba Wawa. (TMZ)

A “disgusting” casting director threw young Susan Sarandon on a desk. (Radar)

Chris Brown is recording Rihanna‘s sex noises? (ONTD!)

Employee at Bumblebee tuna factory boiled to death in steamer machine. (KTLA)

Shakira And Usher Replace Christina Aguilera And Cee Lo For Season Four Of ‘The Voice’

Did you hear that? It’s the sound of me crapping my she-wolf pants. Shakira is temporarily replacing Christina Aguilera as a judge on next season of The Voice, with Usher sitting in Cee Lo’s seat.

HOWEVER, Aguilera and Cee Lo will return for season five (Blake and Adam are staying), as they are simply on a hiatus to work on new music.  Continue reading “Shakira And Usher Replace Christina Aguilera And Cee Lo For Season Four Of ‘The Voice’”

Video: Shakira – “Addicted To You”

Shakira‘s still milking the success of her 2010 album Sale El Soland why shouldn’t she? Five singles strong and no sign of slowing down.

The fifth, “Addicted To You” (not to be confused with Madonna’s “I’m Addicted”) is an excellent representation of Miss Latin America’s usual style.  Continue reading “Video: Shakira – “Addicted To You””

Shakira ‘Attacked’ By Sea Lions And Penguins

Queen of Loca She Wolves and time and space-defying belly dancing Shakira was nearly bitten by a sea lion during her vacation at what appears to be Cape Of Good Hope in the Southernmost point of Africa.

She shared this info along with some pictures from her trip which were posted to Twitter as well as Facebook one of her posing with some penguins and another of a baboon on the car she was traveling in.

Turns out the Columbian pop star was trying to get a closer look at the creatures when one came uncomfortably close to her.

Continue reading “Shakira ‘Attacked’ By Sea Lions And Penguins”

Video: Shakira – “Loca” (Live In Paris)

 Shakira is more anomaly than human. Her achievements read like a hopeless list of wishes from a tasteful Yale graduate. Star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame? Latin Grammy person of the year? Position on the presidents Advisory Commission on Educational Excellence for Hispanics? Triple check.

Continue reading “Video: Shakira – “Loca” (Live In Paris)”

Shakira Makes Concert DVDs Cool Again

I really enjoyed The Monster Ball, and Britney’s Femme Fatale tour but I also saw both in person, not to brag or anything. Shakira, however, I have not seen live, therefore I would actually watch Shakira, Live From Paris (En Vivo Desde) due out December 6, on DVD and blu-ray.

That’s today, so if you need any more reasons to purchase or pirate this, go watch the clip of her performing her breakthrough song “Whenever, Wherever” on Rolling Stone, HERE. The concert took place at Palais de Bercy in June where she performed all her biggest hits, and rotated her body like a Colombian sex army knife.

Shakira Is A Single She Wolf!

Columbian superstar pop singer Shakira is single, after dating her 24 year-old soccer-playing boyfriend Gerard Piqué for six months.

Shakira, 34, reportedly kicked his Spanish (literally from Spain) black and white ball-squeezing ass to the curb after infidelity reports surfaced in the overseas media.

Shakira, who became famous in the states after her 2001 hit song “Whenever, Wherever,” split earlier this year from her agent/boyfriend Antonio de la Rua after 11 years of being together. (He s still representing her, in a business-like manner)…

Continue reading “Shakira Is A Single She Wolf!”