Mexico’s Golden Goalkeeping God Guillermo Ochoa Keeps Brazil at Bay


The World Cup is an amazing occurrence in sports to most, full of bright colors and whizzing balls on a field the size of space which usually excites me about as much as Ron Jeremy naked on a silver platter, but Mexico’s game against Brazil on Tuesday caught my attention.

…Or at least the muted highlights (seen here in glorious Gif form) on SportsCenter did.

Goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa somehow managed to keep a tie-game interesting with his trampoline legs, Mr. Fantastic arms and steel chest. He’s The Avengers, Justice League and the Guardians of the Galaxy combined.  Continue reading “Mexico’s Golden Goalkeeping God Guillermo Ochoa Keeps Brazil at Bay”

Shakira Gazed Deep Into a Soccer Ball and Found God

shakira elle magazine cover 2013Shakira is more than just the only refreshing thing on The Voice season 4 (besides Michelle Chamuel) and the only bangable pregnant woman, she’s a recording artist with a buttload of international fans who are impatiently waiting on her next album.

“I have no idea of where I want to go musically, but I’m fine that way,” Shaki said in an interview with Elle. ” I don’t need to remain faithful to any concept, you know.”

So her new sound could be anything from Hurdy Gurdy Screamo to Argentinian Goat Folk, but I’d like to see her lean on the rock she’s only previously dabbled in. (“Poem to a Horse” part II please.)

Also in the Elle piece, Shakira mentions how beefy ball keeper Gerard Piqué restored her faith in everything…  Continue reading “Shakira Gazed Deep Into a Soccer Ball and Found God”

First-Time Reporter Invites Mila Kunis to the Local Pub, Football Match and Chicken Restaurant

Chris Stark Mila KunisMila Kunis went easy on virginal BBC Radio 1 reporter Chris Stark during what must have been an otherwise exhausting and tedious day of promoting Oz the Great and Powerful. Kunis, who seemed quite cheery despite describing herself as “deathly ill,” spit back adorable sarcasm and genuine interest at each of her young interviewer’s non Oz-related remarks, which were not so much questions but statements.

On top of talking about watching Baywatch and getting naked at weddings, Stark invited Mila to the local bar for Jägerbombs and pints (she requested Blue Moon), later adding layers to the date that included the soccer team he supports (Watford Hornets) and a chicken restaurant called Nando’s.  Continue reading “First-Time Reporter Invites Mila Kunis to the Local Pub, Football Match and Chicken Restaurant”

Sign My Fake Petition To Send David Beckham to China

David Beckham China jerseyThe Mirror is reporting a story about David Beckham throwing his cleats, soccer balls and four kids into a bag and moving overseas to play for a Chinese Super League team.

Sadly, there is a 99% chance that this story is false (a line on a map from London to Shanghai is not exactly solid evidence).

“It was sheer rumour,” an insider told the South China Morning Post. “Shenhua has no financial strength to sign another superstar.”

I wanted David to go play with former Chelsea strikers Nicolas Anelka and Didier Drogba in China. The further him and his freaky fembot wife with the “sing and wave” button are from here, the better.

Continue reading “Sign My Fake Petition To Send David Beckham to China”

More Hope Solo Drama, Soccer Star Gets Into Mysterious Scuffle With NFL Boyfriend

Don’t get me wrong when I say that a third domestic violence-related story involving Debra Morgan-lookalike Hope Solo has me thinking that she’s a bit of a drama-magnet and possible exaggerator…

Solo is a highly skilled athlete, famous for her MVP performance in the London Olympics for the winning U.S. women’s soccer team, writing a book and appearing on Dancing With The Stars in 2011.

In her memoir, Solo: A Memoir of Hope, she claims to not only have been violently shoved by a former coach, but hit in the stomach and slapped by her DWTS partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Continue reading “More Hope Solo Drama, Soccer Star Gets Into Mysterious Scuffle With NFL Boyfriend”

Shakira Is A Single She Wolf!

Columbian superstar pop singer Shakira is single, after dating her 24 year-old soccer-playing boyfriend Gerard Piqué for six months.

Shakira, 34, reportedly kicked his Spanish (literally from Spain) black and white ball-squeezing ass to the curb after infidelity reports surfaced in the overseas media.

Shakira, who became famous in the states after her 2001 hit song “Whenever, Wherever,” split earlier this year from her agent/boyfriend Antonio de la Rua after 11 years of being together. (He s still representing her, in a business-like manner)…

Continue reading “Shakira Is A Single She Wolf!”