Director Harmony Korine Caught Trying to Steal From Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep Julia Child chickenOn Monday night David Letterman told James Franco that Spring Breakers director Harmony Korine was banned from The Late Show in 1998 for rummaging through Meryl Streep’s things.

“I went upstairs to greet Meryl Streep and say ‘Welcome to the show,’ and she was not in there and I looked around and found your friend, Harmony, going through her purse. True story,” Dave said, raising his hand in the testifying stance.

If Jennifer Lawrence was almost written off as an eternal bitch for cracking wise about “beating Meryl” at an awards show, then what is a fitting punishment for stealing her lipstick and compact? Castration in an Iraqi torture chamber seems fitting. (I already hated Harmony Korine.)

Pregnant Woman Jailed For Accidental Sandwich Thievery

A 28 year-old woman, Nicole Leszczynski and and her husband were arrested on Monday in Honolulu for accidentally walking out of a grocery store without paying for two sandwiches that were worth a total of five dollars.

The ridiculousness doesn’t stop there, not only were Nicole Leszczynski and her husband Marcin (a former Air Force sergeant) apprehended after they paid for $50 worth of groceries but their daughter was taken away by Child Welfare Services!

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My Chemical Romance’s Thieving Drummer

Michael Pedicone, a new drummer that the rock/pop band My Chemical Romance had recently hired (March 2010) was caught stealing on Thursday from the band and therefore fired.

My Chem’s guitarist Frank Iero made a statement about the disaster,

“The relationship between My Chemical Romance and Michael Pedicone is over…He was caught red-handed stealing from the band and confessed to police after our show last night in Auburn, Washington.”

Apparently My Chemical Romance have a bucket of drummers in waiting, to pluck at whenever their hearts desire because they’ve already replaced Pedicone (formerly of The Bled) with Jarrod Alexander from Death By Stereo.

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