Shotgun Wedding for Mila and Ashton?

Mila kunis pregnant clippers gameRecently engaged Mila Kunis will not be able to enjoy all the free bottles of bourbon that her latest gig as the face of Jim Beam will earn her, if she is actually pregnant, as E! is reporting.

Maybe Ashton can hand them out to Bruce Willis and Laura Prepon in the hospital waiting room? Or the expecting father could use them to numb the trauma of watching his boo push an enormous him-sized baby out her tiny Ukrainian vajay.

Kunis is pregnant with the couple’s first child, a source confirms exclusively to E! News just weeks after being first to report that the former That ’70s Show co-stars were planning to tie the knot.

The Ted star was even recently spotted attending a prenatal yoga class in Hollywood. 

Continue reading “Shotgun Wedding for Mila and Ashton?”

Shakira, Hurry Up and Have Your Baby! (Nobody Dances and Howls Like You Do)

Complimenting pregnant women is not easy for outsiders. Usually it’s friends and family showering the expectant mother with kind words about their glowing skin (and skin really is the only thing you can compliment because there’s so fucking much of it).

When Shakira posted this photo of her round belly, about to pop out an adorable little vagburster that better not taint her ability to yodel and make her hips tell the truth, I found myself reaching for something nice to say.

“Shakira looks great without makeup,” is what I came up with. Not bad, eh?  Continue reading “Shakira, Hurry Up and Have Your Baby! (Nobody Dances and Howls Like You Do)”