Ian Ziering Shows Off His 49-Year-Old Ginger Abs

Ian Ziering Chippendales dancer Ian Ziering, best known for his amazing work as the grandfather of all snobby rich kids on Beverly Hills 90210, can currently be seen by horny housewives and confused young lushes in Vegas as a Chippendales dancer.

He is joining the once-famous, spray-tanned likes of Jeff Timmons (of 98°) and Joey Lawrence, who danced the erotic night away in 2011 and 2012.

How much would you pay to see Ziering “use song, dance, striptease and body butter to play out an array of female fantasies”? Apparently others are shelling out $55.45.

I was willing to go to $55.50, but whatever. I just wanted to see if the 25-pound weight loss affected his dong.

Miley Cyrus Got What She Wanted For Her Birthday

Miley Cyrus stripper buttLike all Disney-related acts before her, Kiyomi from The Real L Word Miley Cyrus has made the transition from butterfly-loving cutie patootie to crunk, stripper-fondling, underfed member of ICP.

“If I don’t get atleast one big booty hoe my friends are officially not my friends anymore,” Cyrus wrote before her 20th birthday party last month.

You know it was a good get-together when random, Vegas-y photos are still surfacing (TMZ dug this one up yesterday).

To recap, Miley Cyrus still has friends and Liam Hemsworth has officially seen less naked girls than his wife has (see her performance at “Christmas Creampies”).  Continue reading “Miley Cyrus Got What She Wanted For Her Birthday”

Trailer: Frozen Ground

John Cusack plays a serial killer (based on real life-murderer Robert Hansen) who terrorizes young women in Alaska in the new movie Frozen Ground.

Number-one-best-actor-who-stars-in-the-worst-movies Nicolas Cage portrays the detective hot on Cusack’s murderous number-two-best-worst-actor trail.  Continue reading “Trailer: Frozen Ground”

Nadya Suleman Strips For Cash, Food, Or Kind Words

People shouldn’t have initiated Nadya Suleman into the gossip world with the name “Octomom” because she already had six children before 2009, when the octuplets were born.

I hereby rename her “Tetradeca Mom,” for fourteen. So, let’s use it in a story.

Tetradeca Mom (so dinosaur-y) has reportedly booked a job at the strip joint T’s Lounge, in Palm Beach.

She will be going topless and will not offer lap dances. What a shame.  Continue reading “Nadya Suleman Strips For Cash, Food, Or Kind Words”

Trailer: Magic Mike (That Male Stripper Movie With Channing Tatum & Matthew McConaughey)

Steven Soderbergh has a lot of credibility under his belt, or at least, some. In the early 2000’s he directed Traffic with Benicio Del Toro, Ocean’s Eleven with Pitt and Clooney, and Erin Brockovich starring Julia Roberts’ cleavage.

Then, in 2011 there was Contagion (infectious at the box office I guess) and Haywire, with its sparse but amazing action sequences featuring Gina Carano and her randomly altered voice.

Continue reading “Trailer: Magic Mike (That Male Stripper Movie With Channing Tatum & Matthew McConaughey)”

Joey Lawrence Is The Latest Chippendales Employee

Nineties teen idol (Blossom) Joey Lawrence is going to be a stripper at Chippendales in Vegas. TMZ reports that he will “sing, dance … the ‘whole nine yards.'”

I don’t think I’m alone when I say that Joey Lawrence isn’t on my radar. Even as a big fan of shows that are no longer televised that I normally would not have seen due to my age.

Not that I’m young anymore, but I’m not “old” either. I’m more familiar with Scott Baio and Corey Feldman types. I’ve watched Charles In Charge, and you’d have to be pulseless to not have witnessed The Goonies or The Lost Boys.

Anyone excited to see (or imagine) him stripping? He’s does look like a waxwork stripper, and also a criminal facial composite sketch that magically came to life.

Minka Kelly’s Mom Was A Stripper

Friday Night Lights/The Roommate actress Minka Kelly told Cosmopolitan magazine about her complex childhood life recently.

(Be clear that I am not making fun of Minka Kelly’s mom – there isn’t that much wrong with being a stripper unless you’re putting your kids or your life in danger on a constant basis, which not all strippers do)

Kelly described her mother to Cosmo by saying,

“She was 5’11,” legs up to her ears, gorgeous…She got along on that for as long as she could.” 

Continue reading “Minka Kelly’s Mom Was A Stripper”