Tim Tebow Cut From Patriots For Sucking at Life

tebow patriotsFormer Gators and Jets maverick Tim Tebow has been cut from his current team, The New England Patriots because he completely failed to impress Bill Belichick with his chesticles and gay bar-friendly face.

The no-trick pony that somehow led the Broncos to the playoffs early last year was not chosen to even be a backup quarterback to the equally good looking and far more gifted Tom Brady.

“I would like to thank Mr. Kraft, Coach Belichick, Coach McDaniels and the entire Patriots organization for giving me the opportunity to be a part of such a classy organization,” Tebow wrote on Twitter. “I pray for nothing but the best for you all. I will remain in relentless pursuit of continuing my lifelong dream of being an NFL quarterback.”

Some other team will likely pick him up and drop him faster than a baby with a unibrow. I hear the Bengals need a few new cheerleaders…