Tori Spelling’s Sex Tape Will Never Be Seen (Because There is a God?)

Some PEOPLE hate Tori Spelling for being the perfect mix between a goldfish and a horse, but not me. I hate, no, “dislike” Tori because she’s always managed to keep a fraction of herself in the spotlight even though she’s lacking in the… everything department. Daddy gave her a free ride, life skipped the lemons and handed her lemonade, etc.

Beauty is not exactly a talent, but if it was, it would certainly not be in Tori Spelling’s possession, and she never developed a good personality despite never having to hire a bodyguard to keep strangers from groping her ass (like Kim Kardashian).

She is neither beautiful nor talented, and the recent news of her sex tape alarmed me until I learned that it would [probably] never see the light of day. From Radar Online: