Putin Just Repossessed Ukraine’s Attack Dolphins

russian attack dolphinsNow that former Ukraine president Viktor Yanukovich is gone, the two countries are going through a nasty falling out, with macho Russian prez Putin taking back a fleet of war ships and now battle dolphins.

True story. Back in the ’60s, when Ukraine and Russia were one big Soviet family, the military began training dolphins as a means of defense in a top-secret division of the navy that was “restarted a few years ago” according to ABC.com.

The highly intelligent mammals (along with sea lions, apparently) were recruited for tasks such as “patrolling open waters with detection devices,” “defending against mines and enemy divers” (operation non-human shield?), and “attack missions.”  Continue reading “Putin Just Repossessed Ukraine’s Attack Dolphins”

Vladimir Putin Enjoys Long Walks on the Beach and Nude Protests

Putin topless women GermanyOn Monday, Russian president Vladimir Putin gave a double thumbs-up to a topless protester in Germany who came bouncing towards him like Michelle Jenneke. The girl was in Hanover with the women’s rights group Femen, opposed to the treatment of the band Pussy Riot, who were jailed in 2012 for “premeditated hooliganism.”

Putin understandably missed the part where they  yelled “f*ck you” and called him a dictator, reportedly telling a translator afterwards that they were “pretty” and he “liked” how they approached him. Via NPR:

Putin told reporters he “couldn’t see if they were blond or brunettes. … I don’t see anything horrifying in what they did.” He also quipped that while it’s better to keep one’s clothes on during protests, “it’s not so cold out — so they can also do it this way.”  Continue reading “Vladimir Putin Enjoys Long Walks on the Beach and Nude Protests”