Justin Timberlake Thinks Jessica Biel Is ‘Really Special’ And ‘Really Hot’

Justin Timberlake may not be the most descriptive guy on the planet. This became especially apparent when he told the story of wooing Jessica Biel to a room full of reporters. It also became apparent that he is more whipped than Katy Perry’s bra attachments in “California Gurls.”

Timberpuss calls himself chivalrous for asking her out on the telephone instead of the internet then adds that she’s “a really, really, really special person” who is also “really, really, hot.”

“We have a couple of rules in our relationship,” he said at the Hollywood Foreign Press conference. “The first rule is that I make her feel like she’s getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, it’s working.”

There’s Jessica’s face (from Hitchcock), upon hearing that Justin thinks she’s so special and hot.

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Kris Humphries Is Whipped

Kris Humphries, that giant who kidnapped Kim Kardashian who along with Taylor Lautner, suffers from UUCF (undeveloped upper caveman face) has a new manager!

It’s his mother -in-law! Succubus Kris Jenner

When Khloe Kardashian married basketball star Lamar Odom  (10,000 times bigger than Humphries) Kris Jenner also took over his career as well, taking a 25% manager fee.

So, Kris helped Lamar (Odashian) work on his fragrance and landed him his reality show on E! with Khloe… What emasculating things can Mrs. Jenner help Kris Humphries do? Design his own tutu line? Help create porcelain figurines of all the NBA teams that are better than the New Jersey Nets?

Hmmmm, I wonder.

A friend to the Kardashian family explained,

“Expect his and her clothes, towels, watches, shoes and by the time they have a baby together, forget it. They will be able to buy the bank.”

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