GIF: A-Rod Hit By Ryan Dempster Pitch

I’m delighted by Red Sox player Ryan Dempster’s two inside pitches last Sunday to Alex Rodriguez’s side and leg and I don’t even feel the least bit bad about it.

Here’s why… 1. He’s rich. 2. He’s on steroids. 3. Cameron Diaz, Madonna and Kate Hudson.

”He was trying to establish his fastball,” Red Sox manager John Farrell said during an in-game interview on ESPN. ”Obviously, the pitch got away from him.

”We didn’t feel in our dugout it was anything intentional,” he added.

Lies, all charming lies. The smile on my face every time I see the this is also unintentional, and as simple as Dempster’s instantaneous 5-game suspension. FULL VIDEO HERE.

Stories I’m Too Lazy To Write About [10-14-12]

Yankees lose, Derek Jeter fractures ankle. (Deadspin)

Kristen Stewart fears mass communication will kill her “LIKE, BOOM.” (ONTD!)

Nobody can shut up about Miley Cyrus on Two And A Half Men, especially Miley. (Celebuzz)

Lindsay Lohan blew or talked her way out of being banned from Chateau Marmont. (TMZ)

A brave man just jumped 24 miles at over 700 mph from space to earth. (Gizmodo)

Russell Crowe‘s wife is divorcing him because he’s mean and unattractive. (Gawker)

Watch spit fly from Cameron Diaz‘s mouth in Chelsea Handler send-off video. (ohmyGAHH!)

Tia Mowry from Sister, Sister cut her hair really short and it made her cry. (Evil Beet)