Man Swims Two Miles Just to Catch a Glimpse of Taylor Swift in Her Natural Habitat

Taylor Swift flatteredTMZ reports that a young man swam all of two miles just to spy on Taylor Swift in her oceanfront mansion in Rhode Island. (The one she bought for $17 million cash in April.)

Actually, he swam one mile in the penis-freezing cold of the Atlantic and then swam straight back after he saw her beefy security guards patrolling the area.

Hold the “Looks like she found a new boyfriend” or “Ryan Lochte must be bored” jokes. We shouldn’t make fun of the champion stalker with the bravery of a thousand bayonet-wielding mountain lions.

I mean, that’s dedication. Look up the word in the dictionary and you’ll see a photo of this guy’s mugshot. She should really give him a signed photo or show him half a tit or something.  Continue reading “Man Swims Two Miles Just to Catch a Glimpse of Taylor Swift in Her Natural Habitat”